v Married life is full of excitement and frustration :
- In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
- In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
- In the third year, they BOTH speak and the NEIGHBOURS listen.

v Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

v When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

v They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defence.

v You know what I did before I married ? Anything I wanted to.

v One good reason to get married is you will always have someone to blame when you cant find your keys.

v I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage, They've experienced pain and bought jewellery.

v My husband as a good head on his shoulders - mine.

v Adam was lucky he had no mother-in-law.

v Marriage is a lot like the army: everyone complains, but you'd be surprised at the large number that re-enlist.

Man : Why am I doing all the work (cutting onions)?

Woman : You promised me that you won't let me cry.

Woman : You know, I was a fool when I married you.

Man : Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it.

v Son : Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries...

v Father : That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

v Son : A Man is not complete until he is married is it so Dad

v Father : Yes Son and then he is really finished.

v Son : Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?

v Father : I really don't know, son, I'm still paying for it.